WHERE CAN YOU BE MOST SILLY?
I arrived at the movie set at half past one, and it was just after eight when we were called to the stage.
Waiting is a central tenet of the game.
Reading a book,
or scrolling a feed.
Looking wistfully,
or chatting incessantly.
Writing an email,
or watching a program.
Filling your pockets,
or frustrating a producer.
How you wait is up to you.
That you wait is a given.
I tend to keep myself to myself.
Watching on as it all happens around me.
Grateful that it is.
I found my way into work as a Supporting Artist (they mean ‘extra’) for three reasons, shared by many in the marquee.
I need the money (necessity)
I enjoy the experience, and the story after (curiosity)
I am lonely (issue)
Before they called us through, they paired us up. We were in Belfast for a ‘date at the theatre’ in the early 1990s. With my hair in curtains, and my shoulders in pads, I met ‘Ola’ (not her name). She was new to the game, and an aspiring DJ and radio presenter. Shy at first, nervous also. As they shouted ‘ROLLING’ I noticed the side of her mouth lift a touch. Sat in the middle of the shot, I knew we were in trouble. Cue an involuntary, innocent, and invigorating bout of the giggles, which plagued us all evening.
As I drove home in the early hours of the next morning, I reflected on how I felt.
Present.
Pleasant.
Embodied.
Excited.
Joyful.
Hopeful.
All from a simple act of connection.
So much of life is serious.
When you look east from here, you understand that sometimes it must be.
But what about the rest of the time?
The majority of the time.
The serious parenting.
The serious work.
The serious career building.
The serious home building.
The serious study.
The serious dating.
The serious self development.
The serious exercise.
A lot of ‘adult’ activities, with furrowed brows.
My own search for meaning has been all too serious. A somber irony that this expedition in pursuit of connection, has been via a solo sled.
However, in that experience in the mock theatre, I was reminded that I am close when I am light.
That really, for all my lofty aspirations, my yearning for alignment, it is a version of myself that I seek.
Where I am both silly and sentimental.
My question to you…where can you be most silly?
