EMERGENCE

As the new year,
– like the new moon –
rises,
that is the inkling I have. 

Later today,
I fly to China,
for the month of January,
and then to Bali,
for February.
If you have any tips,
or words of encouragement,
then I would love to read them.

I am not sure what to expect,
and in that uncertainty there is plenty of fear.
An internal dialogue,
and flutter,
that I am witness to.

But I also feel quite calm,
– and curious –
knowing with great certainty,
that on the other side of fear,
you find magic,
movement,
and memories.

Before I get whisked along,
– once again –
by the distraction of doing,
and doing,
and doing,
I have taken a moment,
– picked up a pen –
to reflect. 

Looking backwards,
– to shape the onwards –
I landed on three defining lessons,
from the year that was. 

1. PRIORITISE THE PLANET WITHIN

Before I could run,
I had to learn to walk.
Before I could give,
– to land,
to other –
I had to learn to care,
– properly –
for myself.

Again,
and again,
I had been abandoning myself,
– reneging on boundaries,
on commitments,
on dreams. 

Justified as individual incidents,
cumulatively,
they created a narrative.

Cycles,
habits,
and beliefs,
forming a low watermark for wellbeing.

Last year I went out not in search of patchwork remedies,
but rather,
people,
practices, 
and patterns,
that genuinely,
– and sustainably –
nourished me.

From a place of fullness,
more capacity,
– to hold,
to give,
to love.

I often encourage my clients,
– and in turn myself –
to habitually get absolutely present,
to exactly what is.

Without input,
– without distraction –
an onlooker,
a participant.

After describing this prescription to a friend,
they told me that this ancient practice,
had a modern moniker,
– ‘raw dogging.’

It is a habit that soothes my system.

Ignoring the wary gazes,
at that shifty sort,
– with no headphones,
no telephone,
no book,
and no company –
I instead reach for my breath,
my body,
my senses,
and the moment.

It is rarely anything but perfect.

It is okay that ‘it’ is taking a little while,
– longer than you hoped. 
It is okay to wander left,
– and it not feel quite right.
It is okay to take a rest,
– and be in need of a hug.

Despite what that voice was telling me,
– more austere than even the most fearsome teacher –
I have learnt this lesson,
that it is okay,
and that I should more gentle.

Rather than the chorus,
I am trying instead to listen to the whisper.

It has put me on the plane to China,
on the path less traveled,
in a skin that feels like home.

So,
as winter embraces us,
in this spirit of reflection,
I wonder,
what were your three keys lessons of 2024?